What Does Femininity Mean to Me? A letter to my daughter.

Femininity to me, means not hiding or suppressing our emotions. Yes, my dear, you have strong feelings bursting with volume and I am sorry for all of the times I told you to “stop crying” and to “be quiet”. Today women are told they are too emotional and have too many feelings. We are taught to be “good girls” and to keep our feelings inside. We are told to “stop crying” and to contain ourselves. But what if our emotions are the door to enlightenment? What if our sorrow, our depression, was the doorway into the deepest darkest parts of ourselves? A necessary threshold into the unknown parts of the universe. For you I want to end the cycle of the damaged and broken feminine.

To become a better person you will enter into this intuitive part of yourself, the intuitive part of every human being. We carry this burden for women and men alike. Yes you will fall down into this hole, weak and vulnerable to change. But this change is not a damaging change, but rather a chance for growth! You will emerge from the ugly ashes anew. We see the answers to our ancestral longing down at the bottom of this cold cavern. You see, this is the only place where the clues to gaining wisdom are. But when you are stunned by fear you do not enter that place. We don’t allow ourselves the tears or the grief because it makes other people feel uncomfortable.

We turn to antidepressants to suppress our primal instincts. The ultimate blow to our femininity. The ultimate damnation. Utter despair is a imperative part of what it means to be a human being. Without it we not only stall ourselves, but we stall all of humanity Without the wisewoman society is lost forever, looking for that guidance. Women become men and men become women.

You will learn the inner workings of your womb. The center of what makes you a woman. You will not rely on synthetic hormones to tell you when and where. You will not be turned dull and fallow out of ignorance. Great, unstoppable power comes from understanding perhaps the most important part of what makes you a woman. You do not need a poison made pill to tell you that. You will be whole and in complete control of your sensuality, your ability to perceive the energy within all that you touch.

Women can witness life and death right inside their own bodies. You and all women who have come before you can bear witness. You will be so close to the permeable line that lies between the physical world and the spiritual realm. Going there requires a release of all of the chains and cages we have placed on our consciousness after years of our innate intuition being suppressed. We have been told our visions were just dreams, the voices we heard were just our minds playing tricks. But no, my girl, you are not crazy. You are not a whore or a narcissist for creatively celebrating yourself. You are not full of yourself for dancing and expressing without words the primal spirit held captive within all of our modern day sisters.

You, my beautiful daughter will be free. Free to feel everything. The grief, and the pain, but also by feeling those emotions you will be able to feel the other extreme. Duality. Pure bliss, joy and ecstasy.

-Your mother

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